By Mardhiah Husna Binti Tarmizi
Your skill of hearing someone’s footsteps,
Differentiating the sound of the right owner,
You keep mumbling, “Who is it? Who is it?”
And once you know it is his footsteps,
You throw yourself on your messy bed,
Dive yourself into your fluffy white blanket.
And there you go, trembling, you fake sleeping.
Your habit of hiding your exam result,
Trying to find the reason why you’re lacking,
In fact, baby, you’re never lacking.
You just need time to practise and improve.
Yet that is not what they give to you.
Only voices that are raising up right into your ears,
And hands that touch every inch of your skin.
Your disability of trusting people around you,
Doubting every promise made by those around you,
And being anxious about how they will treat you.
Oh, dear, your trust issue is not because of you.
But because you can't even trust those
you share blood, home, and last name with,
let alone trust zero-related people around you.
Don’t worry, my dearest, (your name).
It didn’t start with you, nor is it your fault.
It's just an unstoppable cycle,
That destroys every bit of your dream family.
It’s just generational trauma,
That keeps tangling up and ruining,
Your used-to-be happy family.
So, get up and stop it.
Stop the generational cycle and trauma.
Give your future small family,
The best family they have ever dreamt of.
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