by Nik Liyana
(it's mother's day and you're three years away from the age when your mother married. you're clutching your head and screaming in your mind for fear of waking everyone up.)
someone please teach me how to live. how am i supposed to live. how do i live? how do i live? why is it so hard to live? why is everything so hard? how can i live? how can i live like this? what am i supposed to do? what do i do? what do i do? i can’t do anything. how am i supposed to be here i’m not supposed to be here. i can’t be here. i’m going to be just like her. i don’t want to be like her. i don’t want to be like her. why? why? what has she done to you? she broke me. did she kill you? no. i don’t want to be her. i don’t want to be her. what has she done? what didn’t she do? does she accept me? does she care? she cares. then why doesn’t she accept me. she doesn’t know, sweetheart. she doesn’t know you. how could she? i’m her daughter. she doesn’t have to. why. she doesn’t have to. she doesn’t have to. she still loves me, right? she does. but she doesn’t know you. she doesn’t know me. is that a good thing? she loves you. she cares for you. and why. why does she care if. if she doesn’t know me? she did everything to me. she was just 25 please be kind to her. that doesn't make it okay. but she was kind to you. it wasn't okay but she was kind to me
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