You Worry Too Much

by Roki Lili

Credits to belencony1313 on Pinterest

The room is dark and silent except for the faint sounds of crickets and the clock ticking. The light from the lamp post outside peeking through your curtain and you grab your phone to see the time. It now reads 2:34 a.m. The last time you checked, it was 12:00, right after you finally put your phone down beside the bed.  

“What have I been doing for the past two hours when I decided to sleep?” you ask yourself, but the answer remains the same as always.

No matter how hard you try, you can’t seem to stop worry. Every chance your mind gets, it replays what you could have done better: the embarrassing moments you wish hadn’t happened, the uncertainties of the future, the decisions you’ve made or are about to make. Even something as simple as a message from a friend feels off. These are the thoughts that keep you awake at night. When you share them with someone, they call it overthinking. Now you’re worried. “Is it bad to be an overthinker? Am I just another version of a psychopath? How can I stop?” And so, you’re caught in yet another cycle of thought, with no end in sight.

If this sounds like you… take a deep breath. If possible, grab yourself a glass of water.

You deserve a break from all the noise in your head. Most of the time, we suffer more in our imagination than in reality. When we spend nearly every moment lost in thought, we become hostages to the illusions we create in our minds. But the reality is often less harsh. 

As Mark Twain once said, “I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, most of which never happened.”

Yes, there may be a problem, even a big one. If it can be solved, there’s no use worrying about it. If it can’t, worrying won’t help, so move on. Dwelling on problems forces us to live through them twice: first in our minds, and again if they actually happen. The mind is powerful; our subconscious can shape our conscious experience, which is why happiness depends on the quality of our thoughts. A bad memory can make you feel sad even if it happened a decade ago. But you can’t control or change it. So let it go. Also, know that you can’t think your way out of overthinking. It will only feel like an endless loop. 

So, what should you do instead? Let me tell you. 

First, understand that overthinking, when managed, can actually be a valuable trait. Overthinking is not a disease you need to treat or a bad habit to eliminate immediately. At its core, overthinking often stems from our brain’s natural tendency to protect us by analyzing situations deeply, we’re trying to prepare for potential risks or mistakes. When used properly, overthinking is a gift a rare one. Overthinkers are known for their problem-solving skills, born from an ability to analyze issues from multiple angles. They are usually empathetic, as they can easily put themselves in others’ shoes, which strengthens their relationships. Their ability to revisit the past as though it’s all that matters helps them learn from mistakes, which plays a major role in their personal development. Imagining multiple scenarios is also where overthinkers find creative strength. They often excel as writers, storytellers, designers, and creators. If you’re an overthinker, you might consider exploring these fields. Overthinkers also build resilience as they learn to navigate uncertainty, tolerate discomfort, and manage stress. This resilience, when cultivated, strengthens their ability to handle future challenges. Overthinking isn’t entirely bad, but it becomes an issue when it leads to excessive worry, indecision, or mental exhaustion.

Think of overthinking like water: water is essential for life, but it’s dangerous in excess.

Life and its challenges can be mentally exhausting on their own. But remember: no matter how difficult the day, at the end of the day, the day is going to end.