By Hannaan Fuad Edited by Wan Nur Amrina
I can recall at least four moments in my life when I opened my mouth just to say something that I later regretted deeply. Most of those instances are moments in which I tried to sound smart or funny but came across as rude, obnoxious and thoughtless, and I’m sure I have hurt people by saying those things.
I don’t know whether you have the same experience as I do but whenever I remember these moments, I have the strongest urge to pull out my hair, wishing that I could turn back time just to take back what I said. Now, for those of you who have similar memories, I would like to empathise with you and share with you things that might cheer you up.
Firstly, the fact that you regret those things is a sign that you are a good person and have changed from the person you were the moment you said or did the things you regret. So, have peace in knowing that you are not as bad a person as you think you are.
A lot of those moments that I regret occurred when I was in primary school, so even though I still feel like smashing my head whenever I remember those moments, I can also take a little consolation in knowing that I was highly immature during those times, and I now know better than to repeat those mistakes.
Second, I don’t know if this will cheer you up, but it’s a piece of honest advice. If you have the opportunity to do so, go and apologise to the people you hurt. I realised that apologising is often mostly for our own sake. It has healing power when done correctly, healing from the inside out. However, it does not mean that you are a bad person if you miss the chance to do so. What’s important is that you are constantly seeking opportunities to make amends. The next time you see the chance, seize it.
After all, ultimately, it is for your own good.
Finally, learn from your mistakes. It is good that you regret those things you did or said, yes. But it does not mean anything if you still make the same mistake over and over again without actually learning from those mistakes. Imagine me, regretting the hurtful things I said in an attempt to sound “smart” but then, at the next opportunity to make myself sound intelligent, I run my mouth again without thinking and in the end, someone is hurt again because of me. Of course, sometimes it’s hard to break out of a habit, but persistence is key.
At the end of the day, we are all humans and to err is human. But I believe what makes us human beings is learning from said mistakes. So, the next time you cannot sleep at night because memories of your mistakes keep flashing in your brain, take a deep breath and remember that you are trying your best to learn from those mistakes.
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